My Urban Legend

How times have changed since my family grow from receiving a baby boy to a pre-teen boy of 11 years old. Much has changed since then...

From a ritual of family outing to the beaches, the zoo, the weekend shopping, to just spending time together at home... the numerous times spent together as a family have drastically reduced to only attending important functions or celebrations.


We trade it for our livelihood


Since we decided that we wanted a small business of our own to sustain ourselves just in case I was not "needed" at work anymore, we would go into this business with me joining her full time. Expand it to sustain at least two people's salary.

This business is also Wifey's life-long dream come through of owning a business... never mind the scale of it, but it is at least a start to gather experience and live out a dream. This dream is hoped to flourish and we can expand further to sustain the family comfortably in the future.

A reality now, that is needed now, more than ever as I age and work becomes more difficult to find if I ever be laid-off.

And with this business, it has taken Wifey's time off from the family's. She is juggling it very well though, dividing her time between the family, house chores and the business. A very determined and strong-willed lady. The second I have personally known after my Mom. Awesome ladies.

I could only enjoy her company on weekend mornings before she leaves to tend the shop and late at night when she is back from the shop, just in time for bed.

We know it is for our future, so we bear with the little time we have together and make the best of it however we can.


He's no longer a baby


My son is 11 years old this year. In his senior year in primary school. A lot is riding on his grades if he wants to go to a good secondary school. He wants to go to Raffles' Institution, one of the best secondary schools in Singapore.

You have to have almost perfect grades to get in and there are plenty of students whose parents are aggressively making it happen for their children, like it or not.

I, however am happy that he wants to go to this school, but for an honest desire to be the best that he can be... befitting his intellect and academic capacity. I believe he is capable to achieve that. He is a smart boy and is in the best class in his school for primary 6.

Not because his friends are going for it because its prestigious to be a Rafflesian which proves that you are the academic cream of the crop.

Also not because that is what he thinks we want to hear.

I only told him that he needs to work extra hard if that is what he really wants. I can only encourage him and facilitate with tuition for his "weaker" subject - Malay Language.

He is also taking tuition classes for his English and Math. These are meant to get him skilled to the techniques of the lessons and score better in his exams, a different approach to learning the subject, other than the traditional classroom lessons.

No Science tuition for him though. He always aced the Science without trying too hard. His natural inclination to reading science and technology books rather than story books, make him well equipped for any science questions.

So with all these goings-on, plus whatever extra-curricular activities he has after school, he is left with only Mondays, Tuesdays and Sundays free to do what he wants to do... that is after he finishes his homework, of course.


Making the best of things


Coming back to family time together... we have lesser now, simply because everybody has their own important life's tasks to do.

Life in Singapore seems to be quite predictable as the newspapers have reported...

Both parents are out to work, the children are either at day-care or home alone. And alone seems to be predominant word in this family... and other families too I reckon.

On a normal weekday, once our son has gone to school, I will leave for work. Wifey will be alone at home till after lunch time when she leaves for our shop.

Our son will return home to an empty house after school for the whole afternoon, until I return from work in the evening. Get some time with him talking about how his day went and help him with his homework sometimes, until it is his bedtime at 10:00pm.

I will be alone till about 11:00pm when Wifey is back from her shop. We will talk awhile while she has her late supper before I retire to bed about midnight.

The only time we have together will be on Sunday mornings when all three of us are at home and awake, having breakfast and lunch together as a family.

We need to figure out for more time together. This family needs a vacation alone, just the three of us!