Saturday, September 24, 2011

Time For Me

Wow! Where do I begin?

I have not been here as often as I should. I have not updated anything as frequently as my life passes me by... maybe a little too fast for me to catch up and reflect or narrate. Maybe just too many distractions, with other stuff, with other electronic interfaces.

Facebook is a big thing for me initially, but I have never been an avid status updater ever since I started it. Maybe I feel a little too old to update my well being to the masses of virtual friends... even to my own family and close friends contacts too. Maybe I have become too lazy to do this...

That is it! I have become too lazy to update anything that is happening in my life nowadays. Sigh!

I want to start the momentum all over again but like most times, it has stalled too many times and I ended up skipping my blog site all too often.

Apart from checking my personal emails and those from work, the only times I spend on my iMac were downloading pictures of Raya celebrations and editing them to post to Facebook... just because my family members want them shared. There! That is about it. I have lost much interest in blogging.

I believe I lost my "Passionate About Life" when my late Dad's health deteriorated acutely toward his last days and until finally left us after about an intensive year fighting his battle with lung cancer.

I thought I would write about my grievances until I become much better after going through that phase in my life, but then I had to be strong and available for Mom who suddenly became a lonely "other half" of a wonderful couple of almost 60 years.

Finding that suitable solution for Mom and to work out our lives back to the new norm, now without Dad, was tough for everyone... for my siblings, for me and for Wifey too. I am fortunate that I have Wifey who understands and stayed strong for me throughout. Now, more than a year later, we are still coping with Mom's adjustments to daily living without Dad in their home.

With a maid as her companion, and all other matters like finances, bills and groceries taken care of by her children, what she needs most is our companionship as often, if not everyday.

So free times are spent talking over the phone to her during lunch breaks at work and being at her home on weekends or at the start of the month to give her some spending money. Between listening to her complaints of the noisy neighbors upstairs and taking her to her schedule medical appointments, her happy times are seen and expressed when her children are round her.

Sigh... there is just so many things to say, to vent out, to express, to release. But is there time enough to spend blogging about it. Time for me to be happy, somewhat to escape, to write happy thoughts, to reclaim my "Passionate About Life" again...


  1. Hi Muhd, The feelings you describe are so true. In the sad months following the loss of your father and the reshaping of your family life to support your mother, time and space for the creative expression and reflection of a blog can't help but be diminished. Whenever something changes, you need your energy and spirit for those closest to you, and for yourself. Follow your intuition and stay close with your wife and son, and your sisters, brother and mother. Eventually life will find a new pattern and you will have time again to be the awesome and prolific blogger that you have been in the past.

  2. mompoet is very wise in words to you ... and you also are wise and understand in reflection that there are many things taking up your time and attention ... it's just that us who have been your blog friends ... who also may be refraining from this place we used to write so prolifically and yearn for others' comments and anxious await friends' next post or photo ... we aren't always willing to give up on it all ... and try and nudge others into filling some void that was made when we all shied away from this place which has had meaning and has helped us to love, grieve, grow, push, tolerate and keep our faiths ... so I tell you, I will always remember you as someone who has meant something special ... sharing stories with you has been a pleasure and an honor, my friend from far away. Bless you, Muhd.
    from your SisSTAR


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Muhd Imran
PAL Blogger