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I hate Mondays... the general sentiment of many, I am sure.
As for my case, I simply do not enjoy my work anymore...
Maybe it is because of the constantly and rapidly changing working environment that makes me feel out of control.
Maybe it is because of the way things are done in this new environment that I do not feel it is the right way to do things, simply because they have been doing it that way for centuries.
Or... maybe because after 15 years of working in the same company, I can finally say that I have lost my bearings and am without motivation.
Maybe, it is all of the above!
So, what should I do about it?
Nothing. Yes, nothing.... I am so darn lazy to do anything to rectify the situation. Most probably I am afraid of change... most definitely!
Why fix something that is not broken?
Aha! That is my frightened yet lazy conscience talking.
Am I wasting away here?
All these inner struggles criss-crossing in my mind... just about every Monday!
The fact that 3 more colleagues have call it quits in this place and moved on... makes me wonder if they are making the right decision, that I should be making too.
And the fact that whomever that is left seems as unmotivated with their morale at an all-time low, like at the bottom of a old, slimy barrel as I am feeling today.
Yes, it is Monday. So why the rants?
As I was heading for work this morning, I was caught in a bad traffic jam. Yes, the Monday hustle.
Strangely, the traffic jam was not on the highway, but was just after exiting via Sengkang East and onto Buangkok Green. The usual route that has always been smooth had suddenly came a crawling... bumper-to-bumper... "late-for-work-at-the-start-of-the-week" stressful-kind of traffic jam.
My first angry thought was of some stupid, badly planned road-works ahead, so I pulled out my phone and snapped a photo of the road condition while in the cab. Just so I have evidence that was a good enough reason to justify my being dead-late... something that was out of my control.
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As my cab neared the junction after Seagate building, I snapped another time thinking it was that stupid road works... but alas, it was something unfortunate. It was something worse.
Someone had died. A victim of a road accident. A motorbike, a cab and a car at the junction. I felt disgusted with myself for taking a picture of someone's misfortune.
"It is tragic for that person who went out to earn a living and ended giving-up his or her life." I lamented out loud to the cab driver.
It would be a devastating news for the people he or she had left behind... I thought quietly in my heart. I said a little prayer for that poor soul as the cab neared where I was alighting.
Like most times, again... here I am complaining a bluer than blue Monday, and it has pointed out to me again and again to witness or hear of something tragic.
I know that I have it good, that I should count my blessings... that I should stop complaining.
Yes, I am blessed. Still, I hate Mondays until I do something about it...